Family Vacations

Whew! I'm back from the beach (actually I've been back for awhile, but have been recovering from vacation). Sadly, though, no pictures of my toes in the sand.

I have a confession to make.

Deep breath.

I don't own a digital camera.

(There, it's out.)

So how was the beach, you might be asking (or maybe not). I have to ask a question in reply:

WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH FAMILY VACATIONS?????

Here's a small (but disturbingly typical) snapshot of an average day in family vacation land. I want to say in advance that I do really like all of these folks...

The cast of characters:

MIL (mother-in-law)
FIL (you get the idea)
SIL1
SIL2(SIL1's partner)
AIL (that'd be "aunt")
LR
LH


The scene: Lovely beach house. Lovely private beach. Gentle breeze in the air.
8.a.m.


LR is happily lounging on the beach with toes dug in sand, occasionally thinking about borrowing SIL1's digital camera for a toes-in-sand shot for the blog. Reading one of the books she is about to review. She meanders up to the house for a coffee refill.

AIL: It is not much of a beach day today.

LR: (!)

AIL: Maybe we should all go into town for some lunch and touring.

ALL (but LR): hmmm, dunno...

long pause (like 15 or so minutes)

MIL: Maybe we should think about doing some touring today....

ALL (but LR): hmmm, dunno...

another long pause

AIL: Not much of a beach day...

LR (no longer able to take it): Ok, I say let's go. Can we all be ready by 11ish?

ALL: Ok...that sounds fine.

In "town." Meandering the streets, window shopping, on the way to eat.

FIL (from the back of the 7 person pack): Are we going to a restaurant!?

LR and LH in unison: Yes.

5 minutes pass

FIL: Say, are we going to a restaurant?

LR and LH both turning to face crowd as they walk backwards, tour guide-like down the sidewalk.

LR: What kind of lunch are you in the mood for?

ALL: dunno

LR: Is there anything that you DON'T want?

ALL: mmmmmmmm, dunno

LR (silently screaming but smiling benignly): Are you sure? No requests?

ALL: Anything's fine.

At local-ish seafood restaurant and deli. With a large sign that says SEAFOOD and DELI.

MIL: it smells fishy in here.

FIL: yep, must be a seafood restaurant.

MIL: I hope they have something that I can eat.

AIL: It sure is taking them a long time to seat us.

FIL: Must be a SOUTHERN thing.

LR (get me outta here!): Are you all sure this is going to be O.K.?

ALL: Fine, fine. This is fine.

At table

SIL1 (Looking at menu and then up to LR): Will they have anything for Mom to eat?

SIL2 and LR exchange looks. SIL2 silently wills LR to control herself as LR begins internal monologue not suitable for reproduction here.

***

I would continue, but I think you get the idea.

Despite the passive-aggressive fest, there were some incredibly wonderful beach moments. Lots of laughing and chatting between dreadful decision-making, and I always enjoy time spent with SIL1 and 2 and marvel at their patience as they try to build a family in a region of the country that tries very hard to make that impossible.

It has taken me about a week to try to get back into the swing of things and I have actually been doing some desk-clearing work as I try desperately to follow MaggieMay's amazing example and write my way to the end of the book.

So, here I go.........!