Enough, already!

Here it is nearly the end of the academic year and I still haven't heard anything about tenure. I am just not the type of person who deals well with the feeling of being constantly under invisible surveillance. I mean, I don't mind having my work evaluated when I have reasonably timely access to the evaluation, but this is ridiculous. My file went to external reviewers a full year ago. It was turned into the department the first week of September and I have not heard anything since the department voted to support. Not. one. single. word. I barely function under these conditions. I purposely chose a field where there is near immediate feedback on my work for a reason! Not even the protracted book proposal and manuscript review was this bad.

People (not in my subfield...we share the need for instant nullification or gratification) always tell me not to worry and to just do my work. They do not get it. I am not wired that way. This has been the single least productive year of my career because I am in limbo. This is particularly frustrating because now another process of invisible surveillance has kicked in ---annual review. Now People are in meetings discussing my yearly productivity and noticing, no doubt, that I have not sent out a single piece of writing for review this year. Not. One.

jeez.