I mean, seriously, the mouth is a place where pudgy fingers were never ever meant to roam. I just got back from my visit and I have but two words of hell for you: root planing.
My dentist is a seemingly nice lady who hides here sadism behind a mild mannered demeanor.
Here is how the visit went.
MMSD (mild mannered sadistic dentist): So, who sent you to us?
lilrumpus: Well, I have actually been a patient for awhile.
MMSD (looking at chart): Oh, I see. You haven't been here in....4 years? Are you having any problems or did it just seem time to come in?
Lilrumpus: Just time, I guess.
MMSD: Oh, not a big fan of the dentist, I see.
lilrumpus: No. No offense, but it just seems counter intuitive to pay someone enormous amounts of money to inflict pain on me.
I know, not the smartest thing to say to a metal probe wielding dentist, but I was freaking out.
MMSD (probing with sharp metal thingy in lilrumpus' mouth): 5 mm recess with deep pocket between 14 and 15. 3mm recess at 16. cracks on 20 and 22. etc. etc.
This bit makes no sense to me but went on for awhile with my level of anxiety rising with every painful poke and subsequent proclamation. When she finished and pushed back from me she said:
Well, your teeth look good. No problems there. Your gums, however are going to need some work that involves scraping underneath (!) to clean up debris and bacteria. Hmmm, I think this will probably hurt a bit and take a good 1 1/2-2 hours per side of your mouth so (big grin from her) let's set up two appointments and plan on numbing you just a bit (another grin). Ok?
no, so. not. ok.
lilrumpus: ok
MMSD: Great. We'll just get you set up with those appointments and then schedule you for the periodontist to check out the fact that there seems to be very little attaching your gums to your teeth along the bottom front gum line. (what!?) Oh, don't worry. We just don't want your gums flapping in the breeze, do we (another big grin)?
To add insult to impending injury, this is all going to cost me a ton of money. Guess we won't be doing any home improvement projects for awhile.
I. hate. the dentist.
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5 comments:
I hate the dentist too. In fact, my last dentist visit went almost exactly like yours did, including the "schedule you for two painful procedures".
Needless to say, I never went back.
Though my gums are kind of tragic now.
Good luck. I *so* feel your (emotional) pain on this.
I hate going to the dentist. It's just no fun to pay money to have someone inflict pain on me.
I have been so in the same boat re: socialness. I love my pajamas. I love my bed. It takes a mighty effort to get out of the house. Then I begin to worry that I spend too much time in the house. It's not that I've ceased to like people, just that I'm reclusive and sooo tired. So here's what I think: I think it's okay. I think we deserve plenty of quiet and nesting. And I think students and colleagues should understand if we don't show up for a few weeks. Doesn't that seem fair?
LB: i am so sorry that you, too, have encountered the evils of dentists. i would be lying if i didn't admit that at least 85% of me in tempted to not go through with this.
jo(e): Hi! i agree. I mean, money should be spent on pleasures and non pain inducing necessities, right?
go40: welcome, my dear! and, yes, it seems totally fair. oh, and I like that my abbreviation of your name is "go 40" :)
i'm on board with the whole sadistic dentist thingy.....every time i go in there, they are suspiciously cheerful, always make a point of flattering me in some way, and smile with a terrificly large, white, toothy grin.
why do dentists make small talk? the one time you cannot talk (unlike with the obgyn when you can but *really* don't want to) is at the dentist????
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