random thought

I have been making a conscious effort of late to try to curtail complaint. ‘Course I am often unsuccessful and find myself blathering on about something that annoys me or pisses me off or simply disappoints me. On the occasions that I resist the urge to complain, however, I must say that my experience of the world improves mightily. I carry much less resentment. I perceive the complexities of people and events instead of the dichotomous good/bad version of the world. I am happier overall. The downside is that I also find myself hiding away from people a bit so as to avoid being pulled into the circle of someone else’s complaint. Along the same lines I also become a peculiar sort of listener. For instance, there is the form of listening that hears the need for support and validation behind the words. This listener nods and encourages the speaker in whatever form of expression they are having at the moment (complaint, rant, whatever). Then there is the form of listening that hears the gist of the message and offers the silver-lining. The annoying, too cheerful, inattentive to the needs of the speaker, silver lining. This is who I become and so my hiding is not only to shield myself from complaint, but also to spare those around me from the ever-fucking-annoying optimist.

Somewhat of a pickle, then, you see. Happy and hiding OR ranting and social.

Hmmmm, maybe I should eat some more animal crackers.

Animal crackers will solve ANYTHING.