Desperately seeking advice

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

At the beginning of the academic year, I was in a state of absolute optimism and giddiness. We (meaning the small program of which I am a part) had been granted the boon of a search for a much needed senior colleague. The search committee worked hard. We were blessed with bringing in some top-notch candidates (which, by the way, is particularly astonishing considering that our lil program is struggling to launch). We (I hope) demonstrated that our small program is on the precipice of becoming something very unique and truly innovative (a model, dare I say, for interdisciplinary studies).

Despite all of this, our search has crashed and burned. Not because of the department. Not because of the excellent candidates. But because politics operate as usual in the college. Now we are in the unenviable position to have to apologize to the truly extraordinary people who came to campus…we have to tell them that we are not offering this year…perhaps not next. Worse still, one of our senior faculty is leaving and the other is on the verge of retirement.

There are still truly amazing opportunities here. In the dept (in which our lil program is housed) there are excellent people. Truly wonderful community. The problem is that our lil program is on the verge of destruction. There are great reasons to stay here(friends, intellectual and personal community), but wouldn’t it be better to be in an institution where my lil program was a full-fledged department?

I am, to be tragically honest, in a professional crisis. My daily job is absolutely wonderful, but the dream for building a vibrant program (a dream that I am totally invested in) has (for the moment) died.

Help.